Miracle Baby Wells

10.31.19 We had the transfer Oct 31st and we had to wait 12 days until we took the blood test. I couldn’t wait and took a couple at home pregnancy tests on the 6th day and they were positive!

11.11.19 We took a blood test to confirm at the doctors office and schedule our first ultrasound.

11.21.19 The day we met our baby. We were 5 weeks and 4 days so we weren’t supposed to see any sort of heartbeat, but when we went in the doctor said, yes. That’s a heartbeat. We couldn’t believe it because the last time we had an ultrasound with a baby in my belly, we heard the words, “I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat.” And we’re terrified to hear it again. Elated and overjoyed, we saw your heartbeat and it all felt so real. We’re actually having our rainbow baby at the end of this journey.

11.27.19 And then on Thanksgiving Eve, 7 days later we had another check-in where we were told there had been no progress and they couldn’t see a heartbeat anymore. She spoke clearly and said, “I’m sorry, I’ve looked as hard as I can. We can check back in 4 days but from what I am seeing, most likely this pregnancy will not continue.”

We left the office heartbroken and in disbelief. We spent the holiday holding onto any sliver of hope but also trying to lean into the grieving period and acceptance that we have lost another child and this process did not work for our family.

11.28.19 as we ate our Thanksgiving dinner just the three of us, “Is the baby out yet?” Finn asked. “The baby may have to go to heaven,” I said to Finn and he replied, “Well, when can we visit heaven then mommy?” They’re really are no words to describe the hurt and sadness those four days held. We sat in silence most of the hours, we tried to show up for holiday dinners with friends but the pain was hard to hide. Each time I went to the bathroom, I sobbed in fear that today was going to be my last day with my baby. But it never happened, no spotting, no cramps, I still had morning sickness and I was still eating like I had a small miracle inside me.

12.1.19 Sunday came and we knew what we were going to see at our appt; we were going to hear those words again. The ones that would most likely end our journey and solidify the fact that we will always be a family of three. My whole body was heavy but I was trying to be strong for Finn and my husband. It was so early we were the only ones in the office. Two nurses behind the desk and one doctor. We entered the room and the doctor excitedly asked (she must not have looked at my chart yet) “Good morning! How are you?” I looked at her and simply said — I’m hoping you can give me a miracle today.

As she washed her hands and prepared the ultrasound wand Jason started asking all the questions. “Why would something like this happen? Why did we not see a heartbeat? What could of caused this?” She calmly explained, well, you’ve done the genetic testing so the embryo is viable so I’m not sure, but it could be a number of things. The fetus didn’t get enough blood, the hormone/thyroid levels could have been off (which hers seemed to be normal) so ....” she continued and I closed my eyes and it all started to sound like the teacher from the peanuts (wahhhhahahhahahahahahah) as much as I wanted someone to tell me why, I just wanted it over.

I wasn’t looking at the screen, I didn’t want it to end, I was still clinging to any hope that this could still work, that I would see a heartbeat. Just as the doctor inserted the camera, she gasped, “oh my god! I’m giving you a miracle right now! I don’t normally say oh my god but, this is worthy.” I’ll never forget this moment. I sobbed so loudly and the tears were so big I couldn’t barley breath or see the ultrasound monitor. She said, “Heidi. I need you to look up and see this. You have a healthy baby. Perfect in all ways, the size, the shape, the heartbeat is all where it should be.” Finn started asking me why I was so sad, and everyone at this point was crying. I told the doctor I wanted to hug her, she’s pretty stern (in the nicest way possible) and I love stern because that’s my husbands' demeanor too. She said, “you can hug me after you get dressed and come out.” When I came out, she said, "how about that hug now," and we all cried together. Even the two nurses were crying and both said they couldn’t believe it either. She went back into doctor mode, and gave us the plan, "I want to check your hormone levels still but from what I can see everything is going great! You should make a regular OBGY first prenatal visit appt, etc". This was quite the change from the last doctor who told us our pregnancy was ending. I begged her to take some blood tests and she told me, “I’m sorry and this point those don’t really matter. I don’t even see a faint line of a heartbeat here.” She was certain and made us feel convinced we were no longer pregnant. Now I want to just say, I don't think she did anything wrong. I've seen enough ultrasounds of my uterus at this point to know what I was seeing on that day. I saw it with her, I moved my body so the wand could move and we tried for 5+ minutes to find that heartbeat, we didn't see it.

I’m 8 weeks today. I’m still in complete disbelief this happened. Our miracle rainbow baby is coming in July. I choose to believe this with all my soul. And I can’t wait to meet him/her.

We took all these photos the Saturday before we found out about the miracle. We sat with this news for 4 days and at this point, we had lost much of our hope and were being realistic about what was happening. Jason appeased me and took some photos with my "bloated bump" and pictures of the ultrasound from the week we first met our rainbow baby and saw that heartbeat. I knew this pictures would most likely be the way I told you all about our news, but tried to manifest our destiny, and told Jason, "These will be our announcement photos when we see that heartbeat tomorrow!" We both wanted to believe it. We really did, but we wouldn't know until the next morning. Thankful for Jade, who had no idea that's what was even happening. She captured us so beautifully even in this time of sorrow and hurt.

Meet the Blogger - 20 Questions about yours truly

Meet the Blogger - 20 questions about me

Last year, I actually worked with a brand to be a guest on their blog and it happened to be right during our pumpkin patch outing at the same time! It's so fun to look back each year and read about what season I was in, in my life, so why not make this an annual thing and do the hard thing, like talk about myself once a year.

If you wanna read last years, it's called, It's All About Me.

Why keep you in suspense, here we go!

Do you have any nicknames?

My name is Heidi and my middle name is Jo, but most people who know me, call me Heidi Jo. Jo Jo has always been a name i've been called and when I was really little my aunt used to call me Josephine, just to tease me, because she knew I hated it.

Where did you grow up and what kind of activities did you do in high school?

This just made me lol because the first thought that came to mind was the time we all almost got arrested for the senior prank, but then I remembered, I was also my class president, so I swear I was a good kid.

When you were little what did you wanna be when you grew up?

I was 100% certain I was going to be a psychologist. I loved talking to people and hearing their issues always made me feel better about mine.

what is your worst habit?

DO I have to say? I bite my nails. It's the worst, I wish my mom would of put some sort of cream of something on my hands when I was little that tasted terrible because it's a horrible, gross habit IMO.

What age did you start working and what was your first job?

I can't remember if it was Blockbuster Video or if it was one of those lotion carts at the mall. I was 16 and I had no car, but somehow I got to work on time every day after school. Ps, millennials, there was no such things as uber back then. Do you guys even know what Blockbuster video is [crap, I'm old].

5 things you are currently crushing on right now.

1. Zara, for all the kids clothes, like all of them.

2. Below Deck- guilty late night pleasure

3. Essential Oils- I just got on the Young Living train and I can't even sleep because I'm so excited about how I'm going to be healthy AF real soon.

4. Southern California weather + sunsets- cause I mean come on people, it's Nov 2 and the sun is shining and it's 81 degrees outside!

5. Vegan Meals- I know, everyone isn't a fan but I'm working my tooshie off trying to make that rainbow baby, and I know my body is thanking me every time I pick up that kale salad.

What's the biggest project on your to-do list right now?

PERSONALLY:

Making that rainbow baby- acupuncture once a week, gave up caffeine and carbs, and I'm adding in essential oils to create a non-toxic, healthy space for myself and hopefully a growing baby soon.

BUSINESS:

I really really really want to try and update my blog, I want to organize it and really get it dialed in but I'm a self-taught blogger and it takes me forever to research how to do the tiniest thing. If any of you reading this know about square space and wanna help a sista out, send me smoke signal, please!

What's something you wish you could do one more time?

I don't know if I can type this without loosing it. But, I just want to hear my best friends voice again. I lost her 3 months ago yesterday, and every single day without her gets harder and harder. If you want to know more about that, visit mydailymoments.

Have you traveled out of the country and if so, to where?

Oh boy, yes. I want to say lots, but there are still so many other places I want to go visit so; after college, I went on a trip to London, Rome, Paris and Amsterdam. [little-known fact]: My boyfriend at the time was Jim, who is now the owner of Cleobella [IG acct full of travel heaven], and he was an avid surfer who traveled all the time. I had never been out of the country and he basically forced me to go and explore the world. Even though I couldn't pay my rent when I got home, it was probably the single best decision of my life. [so, thanks Jim!] . Then when I was working in the fashion biz, I worked with a brand from Barcelona and Jason and I ended up taking a little work/pleasure trip to Barcelona, Prague and Berlin.

Are you a light packer or take everything you own kinda gal?

bahaha, definitely lean towards the everything I own kinda gal, but, if I'm going somewhere like Palm Springs or Hawaii, it's easy because I just bring bathing suits and cover-ups.

Who are your favorite Instagram accounts?

Well, after 3 years I have created quite the community of beautiful women to surround myself with. These are just a few of them.

@simpleandseason

@jenhawkins

@almostmakesperfect

@mikobowen

@freshexchange

@thelovedesignedlife

@chrissyjpowers

@steph.pollock

@senaenelson

@hellojessiemartin

And I also love a few bigger "business-y" accounts like,

@em_henderson

@plantphilosophy

@wellandgoodeats

@goop

Name 3 things you eat every day + 3 you'll never be caught eating.

Celery [juice it every morning], French fries [totally Finn's fault], and onions. I think Onions are pretty much the answer to any good meal.

AND, peas, no way will you ever catch me eating a pea, I don't eat red meat and I haven't in the last 7 years, and sadly, I have to answer cheese [wah wah wah] trying to cut that our for my fertility diet.

What type of music do you listen to and what's your fav song to play on repeat?

I used to listen to everything, with the exception of country [only when my friends play it around me] and now I pretty much live on either alternative radio or Disney movie soundtracks. Animal by Miike Snow is my favorite song I never get tired of.

What's your favorite saying that people hear you repeat over and over?

Come on, bro. The other day we were driving and this car cut us off, out of the backseat, clear as day...Finn yells, "COME ON, BRO!" Dead.

Thanks for following along! It’s not easy to talk about yourself, I get it, but now it’s your turn!

If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged.  Answer one question below and the rest on your website, if you’re a blogger!  If you aren’t a blogger, answer away in the comments!  I love to learn more about you.

#thedailymoments || week 7

My life seems pretty boring lately, but sometimes that's just what I need.  Slow moments just spent at home, no plans and without a schedule. 

These days most of us are living busy over-scheduled lives.  It's easy to lose track of the moments that really matter, which can often be the most ordinary parts of our days.   In the midst of all the responsibilities of our day, we need to remember to check in with ourselves so that we don't lose sight of who we really are and what is really important to us.   This series, #TheDailyMoments was started by my good friend @steph.pollock and as soon as I saw her first post, and when she said, 

It's these small moments that make up a lifetime of beautiful ones,

I knew this was something I needed to join in on.

If I haven't told you enough yet, I am not a morning person.  If I had it my way I would lay in bed until 9, drink my coffee, listen to morning acoustic radio on Spotify and scroll the gram or pin all the things.  But as any parent knows, once you have kids, you say goodbye to all things slow in the morning. 

Finn has been waking up about 6am without fail these days, and he is READY to go.  He rolls out of bed, stands on his bed and opens his blinds (the half almost breaking them way) to see if the sun is up, which obvi it is [insert eye roll emoji].  Then he grabs all his favorite stuffed animals, turns off his sound machine, walks to his door and as he exits turns on his light, the hall light and everything else in between before barging into our room asking, "Mom, where's dad?"  

But this morning was different. [you should know we potty trained him almost 6 weeks ago, but it isn't perfect yet].  This morning, I heard the blinds, I heard his door open and then as I waited for our door to open, I heard his little run down the hallway instead.  I waited a few minutes to see if I heard him playing in the playroom, or getting a yogurt from the fridge [which generally comes after the "mom, where's dad part"] and I didn't hear any of that.  I laid there wishing that maybe, just maybe he went back to bed, but then, I get worried with the silence, and finally jumped out of bed.  Just as I walked down the hall, I heard him say, "Mom stay out!"  He was in the bathroom, undressed mind you, and had his diaper halfway off about to use the potty ALL BY HIMSELF!!  Say what?!  You heard me.  He got out of bed, went to the bathroom, took off his diaper and pooped on the toilet, without my help!!  Hallelujah! 

I promptly demanded a cookie at 6:03am and stormed off saying, "I don't need pants!" So please excuse the fact that all of the following images are mostly either in his underwear or naked.  That's life and I didn't feel like fighting him today. Xx Oo little man, you win.

Typical Day at the Wells casa includes Paw Patrol, Booba on Netflix or a Disney movie;  Bolt + Chicken Little are currently on repeat.  While Finn eats his breakfast, I either drink my tea, do the dishes or follow up on emails.  Sometimes I edit photos or plan my future Instagram posts for the week.  [Yes, not all of my posts are spontaneous, most of them are planned days in advance and I adjust the captions for my mood that day].  Today, after we built forts and then tore them down, we headed to the playroom and I shopped for Finn's new playroom makeover while he basically tore everything apart and hid all his toys in his wall storage thingy.

I cant wait for the new space because most of the stuff that's currently in there is from his first nursery almost 3 years ago!  The new room is going to have all the Bohemian Oasis feels with lots of natural colors and organic textiles.  I already ordered this awesome green velvet futon and this storage ottoman that will double as seating and toy wrangling.  I can already picture him having playdates with his friends and finding them building forts and falling asleep in there.  I'm working on an inspiration board blog post for the space and when it's done, I'll insert it here. ;-) . But for now, here's a sneak peek.

side note: If you haven't looked at H&M home, you're missing out.  But be warned, check the sizing!  I order things thinking they are life size, and almost every time they come looking like they belong in a dollhouse.  But, we've gotten tons of great things from there!  Ordering this cute cutting board for Finn's Ikea Kitchen makeover hack cause I know it will be the perfect "small" size!  

When all my chores are done and I'm done working for a bit, I usually try and get Finn outside before naptime.  We go back and forth from the front yard to the back, from paying soccer, jumping on the trampoline and playing in the "pool."  [Husband refuses to get a small pool because he is afraid of the mold].  I know, I know...

Today, Finn asked to take our 13 years old girl, Daisy for a walk.  And so we did.

These ceramic mushrooms came from a little artsy fair in Laguna Beach called, Sawdust.  Have you guys ever been??  When I met my husband, he was living in Laguna Beach and I was in Manhattan Beach so every year when I came to visit we would go to this art fair.  The lady who makes these has been making them and  selling them at the fair for years.  The first couple of years we went, we would say to each other, who buys those?  This year, the year we bought our first home in southern California together, we went back and we both said, let's get those!  We decided to get one for every year we visit the fair from now on and I can't wait to fill our new home with a bunch of these little mushrooms!

I've said it before but i'll say it again, Daddy is the fun one!  He jumps on the trampoline with him, he runs around the house with him and he even let's him use the hose.  I tried to be the fun one today and let Finn help me fill up the pool and then I turned around and found myself the target.  Drenched to my knees in water, it was finally nap time!

The first thing he does when he wakes up from nap time is ask where Daddy is, and runs outside to see if he's home.  He usually helps him take off his shoes and changes his clothes and before I know it they are back in the backyard playing the pool again!

Some days I want to keep him up all night and play and other nights I can't wait to get through bath time and get him to bed to I can have a cocktail and a real dinner that he wouldn't even think of touching.  Tonight we had caprese salad my way, and my favorite homeade margarita with fresh lemons and limes and a splash of squirt.  So good.  And that's how we do it over here at #thewellscasa. Goodnight.

Just as Steph did, I am inviting you to do the same, join us in this movement of letting life be more enjoyable just by letting it be exactly what it is.  Tag your photos with #thedailymoments so we can all share in the joy of the simple moments that make up a lifetime of happiness.

The Daily Moments || Week 1

The Daily Moments || Week 2

The Daily Moments || Week 3

The Daily Moments || Week 4

The Daily Moments || Week 6

 

#thedailymoments || Week 4 [in honor of my dearest Debi]

It is with the heaviest heart and with the deepest sadness that I held my best friends hand and watched her take her last breaths August 1st at 1:37am.  

Today was the first full day without her.  It's been 18 days since your mom called me that Monday morning to tell me you were in ICU, and my life will never be the same.  I knew the moment the phone rang, it wasn't good.  

Debra, Deeb, Aunti, Debi, bestie, blondemaid, and Deb.  She was and is the most important person that has ever come into my life.  I know that's a strong statement, but it's one I will always stand by.  Without the love and constant support from her and her family, I would be a completely different person than I am today.

I spent most of my day trying to hold it together.  I spent most of my day scrolling old photos of us over and over and over.  Photos I've seen a million times but I could look at a million more.  I would look at the photos and wish that somehow we would be able to take more photos just like the ones I was holding so dear to my heart.  

I don't know when I will be able to function on a normal level again, I'm sure I will spend many more days looking up at the sky and talking to you and wishing you were here. But, I can promise you this, not a moment will be wasted on loving this oh so beautiful life in honor of the joy and happiness you brought into my life and to Finn's life.  We will honor you by truly loving every breath we take; the good, the bad and everything in between.

These are small moments of our day, the first day without you in it.  I miss you and I love you. #thedailymoments

It's like he knows.  He came up to me numerous times today, just for a tight squeeze and a kiss.

I was standing in the kitchen talking to my mom when he came in from playing outside with daddy. He ran up to me yelling, "mama, mama!"  I said, "yes baby boy, what is it?"  Before I could even finish my sentence, he looked up at me with a much quieter voice and said gently, "I promise.  Mama, big promise."  I smiled and said, "ok, that's sweet, what is it that you promise my love?"  He said, "I PROMISE, I'll make you all better." 

I glanced up with a tear in my eye at my husband who was coming in just as the whole conversation was over, and I said, "Did you tell him to say that?"  He looked at me confused and said, "Say what?"  I stopped in my tracks, picked him up, sat him on the counter and squeezed the living daylights out of my gentle and kind child.  And in that moment, I knew I would get through this.

This daddy has been more supportive than I could have imagined.  We don't usually lunch togetehr but today we carved out time for us.  It was so helpful for this broken heart of mine.

$1 carousel rides makes everything better, right?

He was such a pill today.  It's like he felt my pain.  Meet Mr. grumpapatamous

soccer practice before soccer practice

Toes in the grass.  I don't know why this reminds me of that country song, Toes in the water, ass in the sand...yada yada.  But my bestie loved country so, i guess it makes sense, right?

There's a whole other story I haven't shared with you all yet, but I'm sure I will soon.  Grandma is in town unexpectedly, and we're so happy she is here.

hiding my sadness behind all the hats and glasses today

Packing up all my feelings from the month and trying to move forward with smiles and grace

If you want to start from the beginning of this series, start here Week 1.  Then here Week 2. 

These days most of us are living busy over-scheduled lives.  It's easy to lose track of the moments that really matter, which can often be the most ordinary parts of our days.   In the midst of all the responsibilities of our day, we need to remember to check in with ourselves so that we don't lose sight of who we really are and what is really important to us.   This series, #TheDailyMoments was started by my good friend @steph.pollock and as soon as I saw her first post, and when she said, 

It's these small moments that make up a lifetime of beautiful ones,

I knew this was something I needed to join in on.

Just as Steph did, I am inviting you to do the same, join us in this movement of letting life be more enjoyable just by letting it be exactly what it is.  Tag your photos with #thedailymoments so we can all share in the joy of the simple moments that make up a lifetime of happiness.

The Daily Moments || Week 1

The Daily Moments || Week 2

The Daily Moments || Week 3

The Daily Moments || Week 4

#thedailymoments || Week 3

#thedailymoments || Week 3

If you want to start from the beginning of this series, start here Week 1.  Then here Week 2. 

These days most of us are living busy over-scheduled lives.  It's easy to lose track of the moments that really matter, which can often be the most ordinary parts of our days.   In the midst of all the responsibilities of our day, we need to remember to check in with ourselves so that we don't lose sight of who we really are and what is really important to us.   This series, #TheDailyMoments was started by my good friend @steph.pollock and as soon as I saw her first post, and when she said, 

It's these small moments that make up a lifetime of beautiful ones,

I knew this was something I needed to join in on.

Last week I added some short captions, and this week I had a little more time so I'm using this as more of a journal.  So when I look back a year, two years, or even 5 years from now, I can relive the season I was in currently, and either be thankful I'm out of it, or grateful for the new season i'm currently experiencing.

Potty Training a naked toddler in my dream kitchen

Finn crawled into our bed at 4am, he told me, "mommy my tummy."  I'm pretty sure he was telling me that he wanted to potty because when he actually crawled out of bed at 5:45, he told daddy..."I want to use the potty!"  We're on day 4 of potty training today and we haven't left the house since last Friday morning.  I'm working on a full potty training post and will link it here soon, but it seems to be going well with only 2 accidents in 4 days.  So this morning we went to Target to get a BIG SURPRISE for Finn to celebrate goodbye to diapers.

I assured Jason Target opens at 7, but he wanted to go by his normal Starbucks first.  We sat as a family and chatted about our days all before 8am and it was such a nice change compared to Jason waking up at 4:30 to go to the gym and us just saying goodbye as he left for work most mornings.  I spotted an elderly man reading the Wall Street Journal and even though he numerous other tables were open, he decided to squeeze into the table next to us unfazed by the crazy toddler trying to tear the blinds off the window.  I don't know why but I love watched elderly people.  He was writing a to-do list to himself on a small piece of paper and it made me smile because no days everyone is glued to their phones.
 

Jason left to put Finn in the car while I cleaned up the table and as I was leaving this young business sitting alone across the room stopped me... he said, "That's so awesome!  Do you guys have breakfast together every morning?"  I wanted to answer yes but it kinda made me sad that we actually don't ever do that.  I told him in an almost embarrassed way, "no, my husband is actually going out of town tomorrow so he wanted to spend some extra time with us before work today."  He applauded us for it again and we both smiled and went on our way.

Daddy does the Target run with us

I don't know, the last few days have been challenging for me.  Potty training is no joke and I just needed a break.  My patience level is at an all-time low and I can't stay calm and be present with my actions.  This toy we bought him as a celebration of joy, I almost threw it out the window, it was so hard trying to build while he was so excited and wanted to play with it.  I took a break and just breathed and then it turned out perfectly.

This part is very hard to share but, I know when I look back at these images of this day.  I will only be able to think back about how hard it was for me.  My best friend has been in the ICU for the past couple of weeks, and can't get it off my mind.  I find anytime I can to go see her and today after I put Finn down for his nap, I had a sitter come over and I rushed to her bedside for only 30 min, until it was time to head back home and put my mom hat back on.

I tried so hard to push my sadness aside today and to just be present with him.  We played outside in the sunshine until daddy came home. I then retreated to the guest bedroom for a little mental break alone while my two boys did push ups and yoga in the playroom.  I heard them on the other side of the wall and really felt so thankful in that moment.  

I cooked a comfort food dinner, the kind my bestie would love.  It was still 80 degrees outside, as we are in the middle of another heat wave so, we sat outside as a family and talked for a bit and then daddy took over.  I crawled into bed at 8:30pm.  He did bath time, bedtime and even did the dishes and laundry for me.  I need that today.

Just as Steph did, I am inviting you to do the same, join us in this movement of letting life be more enjoyable just by letting it be exactly what it is.  Tag your photos with #thedailymoments so we can all share in the joy of the simple moments that make up a lifetime of happiness.

The Daily Moments || Week 1

The Daily Moments || Week 2

The Daily Moments || Week 3

The Daily Moments || Week 4

Finn's California Coastal Cool Big Boy Room Reveal

It's here its finally here, all the details on Finn's California Coastal Bohemian Big boy room.  For those of you who are new around here, I'm a born (almost, since I was two) and raised Southern California beach girl.  We spent the last 3 years in Silicon Valley in Northern California, until I finally convinced my husband to move back home to southern California.  And the best news we were able to buy our first home together in Costa Mesa!

At the bottom of this post are all the links I can think of, if I missed something please comment and let me know.  I literally put thought into every single detail in this room and I kinda wanna live in it myself.  I find Finn taking breaks throughout the day in his own space and it gives me the warmest fuzzy feeling knowing he loves it as much as I do.  

DHP Green Linen Upholstered Twin Bed | Rattan Storage seat/nightstand | Bedside Storage table | Tye Dye washable circle rug

Before the previous owners could hand over the keys to us, they needed a little more time and we had already made arrangements to move back down.  So, we ended up renting a cute little beach cottage for 6 weeks until we could move in to our first home.  During that time all the perfect sleep we'd had since Finn was a baby, was out the window.  We use to have a child who went down in minutes, slept 13hrs every night and took naps daily, but once we got in the temporary space, and had him in the pack-n-play, we lost it. All that sleep goodness was gone; he took hours to go down to sleep, he climbed out of the pack-n-play every night and only slept in the car for naps.  So, it became glaringly obvious that once we moved into our new home, the first room I was going to tackle was his.   He needed a space fit for a growing toddler, that was all his and it was time for a big boy room with a big boy bed.  

I wanted to transition him into a space that he could grow with for years to come, and I knew I wanted it to have all the so cal beachy vibes, but without being too literal.  I started thinking about what I wanted it to look like and I started pinning all the Chip and Joanna things but nothing seemed quite right.  I wanted a space that wasn't like anything else I had seen,  I had a few small things in mind but I needed it all to come together.  

This was our 5th move in 4 years, and the first time we actually more rooms than I needed.  We decided to make one of the rooms a playroom, so that's when Finn's room became more about individual playtime and family reading time.  We didn't need a ton of storage because I planned on making the playroom the main home for all his toys.

His room is actually the biggest and the brightest room in the house with this amazing asymmetrical wall.  When I found this whimsical vintage wave mural I knew this was the perfect thing to make this space feel like a bright and fun Hawaiian hideaway.  After I decided this was the anchor of the room I just started searching the world wide web for beds.  And man was that depressing.  How can a small child's bed be so dang pricey?!  They were either expensive and amazing or cheap and not at all what I wanted. Until I stumbled on this green linen bed and it's so perfect for his space and for him!

We read almost every single morning and night to Finn.  I often find him in his room on the floor with 5-6 books he's going through.  So, it was super important that I made a reading nook in his space.  One that was comfortable for him and us when we all piled in there.  I also didn't want it to be too cluttered or have a chair that took over the space.  Seriously, this chair and these bookshelves couldn't have been more perfect for that vision.

To be honest, my style can sometimes lack color.  I'm that neutral girl, but for his space, I felt like this was where I could let loose and really bring in some bright rainbow accents, alongside indigo and pops of sunshine with some yellow accessories.  We have two Lorena Canals rugs in our house and because they are washable I knew I needed one of this space.  

Lastly, the artwork was something I literally couldn't imagine this space without.  Max Wanger is a genius minimal photographer and I knew I needed to complete Finn's first room in our first home with one of his prints.  It took my husband and I days to agree on one and finally framed this one with Simply Framed and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't want to take it off his wall and put it in my bedroom.  So jelly of this one.

Links to all the details:

SLEEP

DHP Green Linen Upholstered Twin Bed

Signature sleep Twin Mattress

Stripe Linen Duvet

Pillows: 
Pom Pom | Indigo [linked to similar cause one of kind vintage] | Sunshine [bought in when he was a babe from Paper Source]

---

WALLS

Vintage Wave wall mural 

Palms Wall art

Acrylic Floating Bookshelves

Tye dye wall hanging

Minted Vintage Bus + Surf Prints
Birth Poster

---

FURNITURE

Rattan Storage seat/nightstand

Bedside Storage table

Bohemian Teak Accent Chair

Tye Dye washable circle rug

---

TOYS

Two of my favorite places to shop for kids toys are Maisonette + Sprouts SF

Colorblock backpack

Magnetic Camper 

vintage woody car 

letter blocks 

Play Guitar
(both Little Cottonwood but they are sold out- linked to an even cuter versions)

Magnetic wood building sticks

Hand-drawn play-mat 
 

A Big thank you to Alison Bernier, who took these photos for us.  Your captured the space perfectly!

Occasionally Perfect Blog

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Balancing Motherhood + Blogging | #TheMomBlogCollective Week 4

Balancing Motherhood + Blogging || #Themomblogcollective Week 4

If you're new here, here's the scoop. Once a month, our group of amazing and inspiring mamas will answer the same set of questions to do with blogging, Instagram, photography, collaborations, sponsored posts, balancing it all with motherhood, and more. We each have different perspectives and different opinions, so this is a fun way to learn from one another. We hope you'll join along! Check out the hashtag #themomblogcollective to see everyone on Instagram, and I will also link you to all of the amazing blog posts here at the bottom of my post!

If this is your first time checking out the series, and you'd like to get caught up from the beginning, here ya go:

Top 5 Tips when starting a blog or Instagram | Week #1

 How to create your brand + build an online community | Week #2

Photography tips for a Cohesive Instagram feed | Week #3

(I just want to apologize in advance for the lackluster of this week.  I was on vacay with these lovely blogger friends in Palm Springs and needless to say, it was hard to focus on writing a blog when I was meeting some of my favorite mama influencers IRL for the first time. Feel free to check out #momsdopalms, for a full photo journal of our adventures.

Now, you've made it to this week!  How to Balance Motherhood + Blogging | Week #4

One of the most asked questions I get when I meet a fellow mama and tell them I'm a blogger is, how on earth do you find the time to do it all?  I usually laugh because I feel like I don't actually have that part figured out yet.  This weeks topic is sort of ironic because the last few weeks, many of us who are part of #TheMomBlogCollective have been so overwhelmed with regular mom life that we ended up having to skip or postpone this series a few times.   The truth is, sometimes, the balance just doesn't happen as expected, so be patient with yourself and try to not put too much pressure on sticking to a perfect schedule.

I've been an Instagram influencer for about 2 years now and blogging for about 6 months and I still feel like I'm still searching for the secret to balancing my time.  Of course one day I hope I can call this influencer gig my full-time job, but for now, it's just a little side hustle when I'm not busy with that #momlife.  

My real full-time job is a mom and a wife so I have lots of duties I am responsible for on the daily.  I don't have a nanny, a housekeeper, or someone showers and eats for me, so ya know, my daily task list is pretty long. A lot of the time I am single parenting because my hubs travel a ton for work, so finding time to post on Instagram or write a blog is a challenge on most days.   

I've struggled with the mom guilt when Finn is watching hours of YouTube or Disney movies 875 times in a row. I've gone days without eating a thing until 3 pm, skipped numerous workouts (like all of them) and I've definitely forgotten to call back a girlfriend a time or two (prob three) because I'm busy working on my Instagram or blogging.  And seriously, trying to write some witty and compelling caption for my daily Instagram post while a sink full of dishes is staring me in the face is challenging to say the least.

I used to try and post twice a day at least 5 times a week, but that was just too much time away from my daily responsibilities.  Last month, I adjusted my posting schedule, because it was too much pressure to be that consistently witty and keep my images in my feed consistent that many times in a week.  Now, I only post 1 time a day (either before 9 am or after 5 pm) and if my week is crazy, I don't have a problem skipping a day or two.  

 I write and edited photos when I can, and most of the time it means I'm probably ignoring something else I should be doing.  Ya know, like laundry, a playdate or even a shower.  What's kinda funny is, I'm actually typing this on my iPhone as my husband drives us to lunch.  If you really want to be a blogger and find the balance, you've got to make the time, however, and whenever you can.  If that means getting up early, or staying up late or writing for a few minutes at a time throughout the day, it's up to you to find what works for your schedule.

Here are 7 ways I try to keep it all together while balancing Motherhood + Blogging :
1. Get up earlier than everyone else  
2. Find the beauty in the chaos  
3. Make time for me
4. Plan out my days  (please read #5 alongside this one)
5. Be adjustable
6. Be honest with your client, friends, husband and yourself
7. Take advantage of the time after bedtime

1. Get up earlier than everyone else.  

Having a little 'me' time before I get bombarded with the responsibilities of my day, really has helped me keep my Zen and tackle tasks with less stress.  Just being able to brush my teeth without a toddler pulling at my shirt, helps me feel like I've completed something for that day.  On the days I actually am able to shower, get dressed and put makeup on before he wakes up, those are the best days.  They don't always happen, but when they do I feel like a real person and not just mom who lives in sweatpants who always has that dry-shampooed bedhead and a toddler attached to her leg. It's true for me when they say, If I look like my best self, I feel like my best, and I then can be my best self.  (That's probably not the right quote but you know what I mean).

2. Find beauty in the chaos

You heard me, chaos means memories to me, it means things are happening that are sometimes messy, but that doesn't mean bad.  So, it's ok if you have dishes in the sink, a floor covered in cheerios and toys, and a laundry pile that has been looking at you for days.  It's ok if that blog post you promised the company would go live Tuesday if it doesn't actually get posted on Wednesday, life will go on.  If everyone is fed, clothed and happy, you're doing just fine.  

3. Make time for me (I struggle with this one a lot still)

Here's the thing, if the captain of the ship didn't sleep for 3 days, only ate crackers and string cheese and had no human contact besides a 1-year sing along to Moana, do you think he would be fit to lead his castmates into the sea and lead his team into rough waters?  No way, the ship would probably sink because the leader would be too exhausted to actually lead them.  You are the leader of the house and you are leading your children by your example.  Make sure you are on the top of that list of priorities.  Take what you need, when you need it.  I need a daily dose of reality TV paired with chocolate covered almonds and a glass of wine.  That's what makes my love tank full.  You decide what works for you, and make sure you don't skip what you need to care for everyone else.  That means, yes you have permission to sit on the couch midday if you need to regroup or recharge.  Ignore prepping dinner, taking out the trash and skip a post one day if you need to.  You do things for YOU girl, cause when you do, everyone benefits from it.  

4. Plan out your days.  (please read #5 alongside this one)

Make a weekly plan of things.  Not daily.  Cause we all know we can end up having "one of those days"  and if you only plan one day, it will ruin your whole week.  So, I like to plan my week, I like variety so I don't always have the same plan on each of my days of the week.  I do have a general idea of things that go something like this. 
7-8am: Me time (which does usually includes an Instagram post)  It's so much easier for me to posting before Finn wakes up, because after 8 am- it's 100% his time.
8-10am: Morning routine with Finn, diaper changes, teeth brushing, breakfast, teepee play time, etc.
10am-11am varies depending on the day.  Somedays we go for walk, some days we watch a movie, and some days we run errands (Target, duh).
We usually have a snack/lunch before naptime which is between 11 or 12.
11:30am-2pm-ish: Finn's nap time.  This is my time to catch up on emails, collaboration opportunities, plan content for the next few days, edit photos, etc.  I also need to find time to eat myself in here, so somedays, that gets skipped.  
2-4pm: This time is fully dependent on the type of day Finn is having.  He sometimes prefers individual play time, so I am able to do the dishes, clean the house, or fold the laundry while he builds a train, reads his books, plays with his cars.  And some days, it's all "I wanna hold you, mama,"  all day long. Those days are hard because I just can't get anything done with him on my lap.
4-6pm:  errands, dinner prep, or playdates
6-7pm: dinner, bath, bedtime
7-9pm: Wife duties, dinner, dishes, tv with hubs
9 pm---- ME TIME!  This is actually when I do my best work.  I plan my post for the next morning, or I write my blogs.  When everyone else is in bed.  Thankfully, Jason goes to bed at 9 pm every night he is home, so I am able to stay up and focus on my blogger responsibilities uninterrupted. 

5. Be adjustable

Things won't always go as planned, actually, most of my days never go as I planned, but I had to learn to live with the chaos and embrace it really. Some days are easy, some are not, but that's why it's great that success isn't measured in a day.  I like to think of it like a toddler's food plan.  If they get all they need in a week's worth of meals, one bad day of donuts, snacks and skipping all veggies are ok. As long as it's balanced out with the other days of the week.  If by the end of the week, you've hit all the food groups; that one day doesn't matter.  Apply that same rule to your mom, wife, and influencer duties and if at the end of the week you've fit them all in, you can consider that week a success.

6. Be honest with your client, friends, husband and yourself

Most of the time we want to hide our insecurities and just hope everything looks "perfect" when some days it's just not.  I found that when I was honest about what was happening in my chaotic life, it made me much more relatable.  I tell brands, "Sorry if I'm a little scattered, Finn has been super sick and took  1 hr nap instead of 3 hrs so, I'm a little behind on things and I may need to push the post a day or two.  Hope that's ok."  I tell my friends, "Guys, Finn just rubbed sunscreen all over the dog, can I call you back?"  I also let me husband know, "Today was tough, I need you to take over dinner and bath routines tonight. Would you mind helping?"  If you are transparent with everyone, trust me, they will usually understand and be empathetic.

7. Take advantage of the time after bedtime

Oh, you so know what I mean, right?  The moment you put the baby down for bed and you do your happy dance because you have whole 2-3 hours (depending on your bedtime) to get things done.  Or some nights, to actually just do nothing at all.  Some nights I like to shower, meal prep, load the dishwasher and straighten all the toys before I go to bed so I can start the morning without those on my list.  Because the more I get done at night, the better I feel in the morning.  Also, I try and make at least one night about my husband.  Just time for me and him.  Whether that's a glass of wine on the patio talking about our memories and our future, or if it's just cuddled on the couch binge-watching our fav shows in silence; I try for one night of uninterrupted husband and wife time. 

As we all know, just being a stay at home mom comes with a full set of responsibilities, and then to add in wifey duties, friendships, taking care of my own body, etc fitting it all in can seem like an impossible task.  Then if you are an influencer, and you add in the blogging obligations and somehow try to also find the time to take pictures, edit them, write captions, and blog is stressful.  That in itself could literally be its own full-time job and it is for some of you.  Somehow, I try and cram all of those roles into my daily routine. Somedays it works, and some it doesn't.  I just try and remember, this is all for fun and it's ok if it isn't perfect. 

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes for those imperfectly balanced days that you need a reminder:

"If something is important enough to you, you will find a way; and if not, you'll find an excuse."

Here's a link to all the other beautiful, genuine and inspiring mamas in the #TheMomBlogCollective:

britthavens.com | @britthavens

thelovedesignedlife.com | @thelovedesignedlife

koleimpressions.com | @steph__pollock

hellobabybrown.com | @hellobabybrown

mrsseacannon.com | @mrsseacannon

cultivatemotherhood.com | @cultivatemotherhood

www.ashleynoel.life | @_ashley_noel_

our guests this week:

henaandcompany.com | @henaandco

momwifefoodie.com | @momwifefoodie

amandapahls.com | @amandapahls

All photos in this post were sponsored by someone I am happy to have in my community of creatives.  Amelia Protiva is wonderful and amazing and just got her doula certification and is based in Silicon Valley.  If you are expecting or if you just want some gorgeous family photos, you must reach out to this beautiful and creative soul.  

The Most Instagramable Palm Springs Girls Trip ever! | #momsdopalms

First off if you've only come here for the instagramable hot spots in PS, scroll down.  I've included my top 5 Instagram worthy places in Palm Springs (with locations) for you at the end of this post. 

Totally oversharing my girls trip to Palm Springs with 9 bloggers in the most epic Air BNB.  This will give you all the vacation envy and maybe even inspire you to book your own girls trip!  I talk about all the hot spots, places to eat, and I even share my top 5 most instagram worthy places in PS.

Growing up in Manhattan Beach meant warm nights, long summers and living in my bathing suit.  I'm a salty hair, sandy toes and sunburned skin type of girl!  I've been to Palm Springs too many times to count.  Because PS was only a two-hour drive from home it became my go-to staycation spot.  My typical agenda when I visit is to stay at my hotel and lay by the pool as much as possible.  I normally stay at the Parker, and if you've ever been, you know there is no reason to ever leave the hotel, it insane. But this time, of all the times I've ever been was one of my most memorable times ever.  I went to test out my Big Brother skills and planned a vacation with 8 other women I'd never met.  I'm already starting my audition reel for the 2018 season. Jk.

We all decide to make time for US, and we somehow found a way to book a 4-day trip without our kids.  Say what? How did we do that?  Well, you basically book a flight, ask your husband to watch the kids and you just go. It's that easy.

We stayed in the cutest Air BNB with 8 influencers and the most adorable little 6 month old ever.  I'd never met these women IRL but the moment I walked in the door, I felt like I was vacationing with my besties. I've been in a comment pod on Instagram with these women for over year (for those who don't know what a comment pod is, don't worry... it's basically a group text with people you don't know).   So, I guess I kinda knew them going into it, as much as you can know someone through a daily group text, I guess.

Paige's details on her blog The Love Designed Life

My outfit deets: Hat: Inlakesh Hand woven hat | Sunnies: Diff eyewear Astro in Matte black | Top: Anthropologie (similar)| Shoes: Loeffler Randall lace up flats (similar)

This blogging world can sometimes be isolating because you're sharing your innermost self with people behind a screen.  Meeting these beautiful women IRL was necessary after we've exchanged 100's of texts with each other.  So what did I do with 8 of my closest social media friends on a Wednesday in Palm Springs? Here it goes.

We stayed at @thewkndhouse in the heart of Palm Springs and this just may replace my typical hotel stay from now on.  It was so, so good for so many reasons. Number 1- it's super close to downtown. Number 2- the rooms were perfection.  And Number 3- just the right size with the most perfect Instagramable walls.  We are all bloggers so, duh.

We ate tacos (pretty much every day we were there) , we drank rosé (you guessed it, every single day), and we took lots and lots of pictures.  We went on this trip with no plans, other than couch hangs & pool time with no kids, visiting a few instgrammable hot spots and late night chats about balancing motherhood and blogging.  And honestly, that's pretty much all we did.

I got the best room. Shhhh! Don't tell the anyone else.  If you decide to go, just plan get there early and snag the flamingo room for yourself! That wall, and It's closest to the potty (bathroom for you non-parents reading this, lol) and the kitchen for those late night snack runs!

The master suite has pretty much the most perfect wallpaper ever.

Pineapples are legit they

STAND TALL

WEAR A CROWN

and they are

SWEET ON THE INSIDE

And of course the other rooms make you wanna go wallpaper your entire house too.

The front and back of the house also come with even more instgrammable moments. There's a ping-pong table, cornhole and pool floats.  We took advantage of only one of those fun things; I'll let you figure out where we spent most of our time. 👇🏻

Hat: GigiPip Eve Nora felt brim hat | Sunnies: Diff eyewear Astro in Matte black | Suit: Kortni Jeane Swing too + Rouched bottoms

If you know me, you know I'm that girl who's always jumping in the pool.  I've been known to take a few people with me and at times, I may push a few people in fully clothed for fun.  I even jumped in the pool at our hotel after my own wedding still in my wedding dress. [true story]   I thought it would be fun after this photo shoot to actually get a few pics of us jumping in the pool.  I didn't have any takers and it took some convincing but I got these two knuckleheads to agree to jump in with me ('so I thought...)

We all held hands, and we all agreed to jump on the count of three. I think it's safe to say, the joke was on me.  I guess that's payback for all the times I did this to other people. #karmasabitch. Yes, that splash is mine.  And yes, those two girls don't know how to count to three.

Oh I will be getting you two back @_ashley_noel_ and @helloerinv. I know where you live.

Of course we needed to really spend some QT together at the house so we did a grocery store run and decided to only eat out a couple times.  We got fruits, bread, eggs and stuff for Taco Tuesday, ya know... the important stuff. We spent a lot of time at the house because it was so great and we loved getting to know each other.

We spent 3 nights curled up and snuggled together on the couch catching up on Bachelor in Paradise and one night we had a game night which included a real hysterical game of heads up and an even more hysterical game of the PG version of cards against humanity.  This is when I had to face the reality of being the oldest girl there when I referenced Coming to America [bark like a dog, a big dog] and nobody knew what I was talking about. (insert laughing & rolling eye emoji here).

Meet Ollie, hands down the easiest and cutest baby ever. Because of my crazy baby fever, having Ollie with us was really helpful for those 'I'm missing my kids' moments. I know we all really tried to take our mom hats off and make time fully for ourselves but I think we all enjoyed having this little nugget with us while we were away. From our own babies. If you want more Ollie, go visit @annehilldesign. She's the best and she lives in Alaska so you'll probably get a few moose of grizzly bear pics too!

We had to visit the two coolest hotels in Palm Springs so we had brunch at the Parker, and spend more time taking photos than we did enjoying our $17 mimosas. The Parker is where I had my bachelorette party, where I've spent numerous "first dates" with my husband and if I ever ran away from life, that's where you can find me.

This might be my all time favorite IRL blogger mama I've met. She really should be a stand up comedian, the most hilarious mama I know. Meet @helloerinv

This girl right here traveled all the way from Canada to be with us, at 31 weeks prego, on a red eye..If that doesn't make you love her, I don't know what will! Meet my favorite Canadian @britthavens.

Hat: GigiPip Eve floppy hat | Sunnies: Diff eyewear Astro in Matte black | Dress: Michelle Jonas | Shoes: Joie leather sandals | Necklace: House of Harlow gold locket | Watch: Daniel Wellington Classic Petite Rose gold | Bracelet: Gorjana Howlite calming bracelet

We had dinner at The Saguaro and to be honest we went on a Wednesday and when we pulled into the parking lot we thought it might be closed.  Needless to say, mid week in Palm Springs is less than lively.  But, on a positive note, it was happy hour all day!! So we got thee best tacos ever for $2 a piece! There was 9 of us and the bill wasn't even $100! So that was a huge score!  We were bad bloggers and didn't get any pictures at this dinner,  but we made up for it the next day when we visited the cactus garden and of course that famous pink door. #thatpinkdoor.

Sunnies: Diff eyewear Astro in Matte black | Dress: Amuse Society | Shoes: Christian Louboutin espadrilles wedges | Necklace: House of Harlow gold locket | Watch: Daniel Wellington Classic Petite Rose gold

The Moorten Botanical Gardens are a perfect girls trip adventure.  It's $5 to enter and this place is insane you guys.  It took about 5 minutes to walk through the whole thing, and about 20 minutes to get some plant-lovers dream photos.  The picture above is inside the cactarium, and it was beyond gorgeous and hot!  It was about 108 degrees outside that day and it felt like 120 degrees inside the green house.  But, it was soooo worth it for a photo like this one.

My friend in real life for over 3 years now, and one of my favorite mamas around Paige @thelovedesignedlife. Her blog is insane, please check it out. The Love Designed Life

So I hear that you aren't a real blogger in Palm Springs until you get a picture in front of That Pink Door.  Kidding, but we seriously had to make a trip there to snap a couple fun pics.  There was a group of young German girls and a car of Asian tourists waiting their turn for pictures too (on a random Thursday afternoon) and if it weren't for the other eager groups of people, we may have passed the door.  It's in a residential area and yes, someone really lives there!  We had Ollie with us, and the sun was blazing hot, so we didn't stay long, but it doesn't take long to become a real life blogger when you stand in front of this cute pink door. [mom, I've made it!]

Oh hey cuties! Paige @thelovedesignedlife Courtney @courtneynicoleramsey + Britt @britthavens

Sunnies: Diff eyewear Astro in Matte black | Dress: Amuse Society | Shoes: Christian Louboutin espadrilles wedges | Necklace: House of Harlow gold locket | Watch: Daniel Wellington Classic Petite Rose gold

In short, or long... life happens only once and you need to make the most of it.  Motherhood can be challenging, isolating and one of the biggest life reflecting times on who you are as person.  But, finding time to be that person that you were before babies, really is important.  I'm not sure these mamas know just how much those 4 days in Palm Springs refreshed me and those memories will stay with me, thank you for the laughs and fun times ladies! Let's do it again next year!

We put this trip together all on our own to meet each other in real life but some fabulous brands helped all our vacation house and pool dreams come true.  Thank you to our sponsors:

The Weekend House  

Kortni Jeane Swimwear

Diff Eyewear

Gigi Pip Hats

Big Mouth Pool Floats

5 most instragram worthy spots in Palm Springs:

1. The Wknd House. Scroll through this post and you'll see why.  If the front yard, the backyard, the pool and the wallpaper are enough, the living room and family room will bring all your bright, colorful, mid century dreams come true.  The best thing about my #1 spot is that you don't even have to leave the house to get the perfect shot. @thewkndhouse

2. That Pink Door.  Yes, it's someone's house, and yes there are always random people parked in front ready to capture that instagram worthy moment in front of that pink door.  The door has its own instagram account if you believe me. @thatpinkdoor

3. Cactus Garden.  It's actually the newest blogger go-to spot and it's fairly close to that pink door.  The Moorten Botanical Garden Showplace is a must go to place even if you don't wanna take an instagram worthy picture.  It's pretty small and it cost $5 to get in, but I will be visiting this place on all my upcoming Palm Springs trips! | Moorten Botanical Garden and Cactarium 

4. The Parker. If you've been to this swanky hotel, you know about the lemonade stand, the cutest yellow pool, and of course the oversized chese game on the gorgeous grounds of the hotel, that is if you make it past the lobby.  From the massive white brick wall showering the giant signature orange doors when you arrive, to the drugs sign and the hanging wicker chairs in the first glimpse of the hotel, this place is perfection.  This hotel is a bloggers playground.  If you've never been, you must go, this place screams, I'm super cool. The Parker Palm Springs 

5.  The Saguaro.  Admittedly, I've only been here for the tacos.   But if bright, bold, fun colors are you thing, than the Saguaro is totally going to be your jam.  Those purple and pink doors have filled my IG feed numerous summers so, if your looking for a pop of color and a good time, head straight to this hotel. The Saguaro Palm Springs

There are some affiliate links in this post, but all opinions expressed are my own.

Photography Tips for a Cohesive feed || #Themomblogcollective Week 3

Welcome to the third installment of The Mom Blog Collective: Tips for better photography. If you're new here, here's the scoop. Every other week, our group of amazing and inspiring mamas will answer the same set of questions to do with blogging, Instagram, photography, collaborations, sponsored posts, balancing it all with motherhood, and more. We each have different perspectives and different opinions, so this is a fun way to learn from one another. We hope you'll join along! Check out the hashtag #themomblogcollective to see everyone on Instagram, and I will also link you to all of the amazing blog posts here at the bottom of my post!

So, I seriously feel like I'm the furthest person who's qualified for this weeks installment of #Themomblogcollective because I generally hide behind my lack of professional looking photos with my lengthy yet genuine and honest, raw, heartfelt captions.  Yes, I do stick to a color pallet and I try and use the same few core filters in each of my images but I'm not a professional by any means. I feel like in order to get professional looking feed, you need to be a professional...right? Nope.  Either hire a professional who actually knows what they are doing or marry someone and convince them to quit their day job, learn photography and follow you around all day. Haha right? And if that doesn't work for you...  Here are a few tips that may help you fake it like I do.   I'll be sharing a few tips, talking about what camera I use, and giving all the details on what apps I use.

Top Three Tips:

1. Make sure your images are straight

I always make sure my photos are straight. People tend to like photos that are symmetrical.   My husband hates it because when I ask someone to take our photos because I always direct them to take them straight on.    "Can you please stand over there and please don't cut me feet off, thanks!" Maybe it's just me but I like things to be straight vs a weird angle or from the side of a scene. 

2. Add some negative space

Before you push the trigger, take three steps back.  Give your audience a little glimpse into the scene you are in.  It's easier for people to see the emotion behind the photograph if they actually see the scenery instead of just your face.  It's so typical that you hand your friend the camera and say can you take a picture of me and they get in real close to just capture your face.  Right?  Trust me on this, .take three steps back!  This way you get an idea of what's actually happening around you and allows the subject of the photo, which is usually you or your kids to be the main focus without being distracted by being too close.   So when I take my pictures I tend to make sure that I have some sort of sky or ceiling or some sort of space above my head and that you can definitely see my shoes or the sidewalk or something below me.  Here's my go to- make sure you get my shoes, even if I'm not wearing any because it helps leave some space.

3. Lighting is key

The time and space that you take your pictures in can be make all the difference.  The best time to shoot is the "magic hour"  which i think you've all heard before.  Right after the sun sets when the suns rays aren't to bright to cause a glare.  Also the best place to take a photo is out of the direct sunlight.  Try taking your photos in shade but still outside in the light. When you position yourself try and get the light towards you vs behind you.

BONUS TIP:

Take numerous pics at the same time

True story, my cell phone currently has 53,000+ photos in my camera roll.  The best way to get a good snap is to take lots of pictures!  I know that sounds simple but the truth is for me, I probably take at least 100 photos of the same scene to get the perfect shot.  Some people are effortless, but for me, I need lots of options.   One way I keep my feed cohesive is to post photos from the same photo shoot on the same day with the same lighting periodically throughout my feed.  

Besides what I use to take my photos, two of my most asked questions are, what do you use to take your photos?  & what apps do you use to edit your photos and plan your posts?

What do you use to take most of your photos?

I have a mixture of iPhone and I recently got the Sony a6000 with a 1.8/50mm lens.  It has built in wifi so I can transfer my images even when I'm not connected to the internet.  It's super fast and easy.  The camera itself comes with amazing features, that makes it easier to just shoot and post, however, I did spend some time watching You tube videos about the camera.  If I do adjust the settings, I mostly adjust the background defocus and the brightness. It's easier to let the camera do the work and edit the images to fit my feed later. 

What apps do you use for your editing?

My favorite apps for editing are Color Story &  VSCO.  I've downloaded so many photo editing apps but these two are by far my favorite.  Easy to use, and they have the best pre set filters ready for you.  Color Story has the flashes of delight bundle that is really all you need.  My favorites are Carrie & Valerie.  I sometimes add some brightness and a little fade depending on what the lighting was like in my original photo.  For VSCO, I use the basic package, A6 filter and then use tons of exposure and a little brightness.  Download those apps, and play with some of the filters to find your own aesthetic.  

If there is anything to take away from me this week, it's more about the stories I tell through my images and my captions, to hopefully turn all your followers into real life friends.
As my girl @helloerinV once said, "You take the picture and you just post it."  It's sometimes as simple as that.

Here are this weeks contributors: 

mrsseacannon.com | @mrsseacannon

britthavens.com | @britthavens

koleimpressions.com | @steph__pollock

cultivatemotherhood.com | @cultivatemotherhood

www.ashleynoel.life | @_ashley_noel_

hellobabybrown.com | @hellobabybrown

darlingnightingale.com | @darlingnightingale

www.a-blessed-nest.com | @blessednestblog

thelovedesignedlife.com | @thelovedesignedlife

GUESTS: 

http://www.helloerin.com | @helloerinv
http://www.hopefeathersphotography.com | @hopefeathers
http://www.psimfromthemidwest.com | @hollynbaron

How to Establish Your Brand and Build Your Online Community | #Themomblogcollective Week 2

Welcome to the second installment of The Mom Blog Collective: How to Build and Online Community and Define Your Brand. If you're new here, here's the scoop. Every other week, our group of amazing and inspiring mamas will answer the same set of questions to do with blogging, Instagram, photography, collaborations, sponsored posts, balancing it all with motherhood, and more. We each have different perspectives and different opinions, so this is a fun way to learn from one another. We hope you'll join along! Check out the hashtag #themomblogcollective to see everyone on Instagram, and I will also link you to all of the amazing blog posts here at the bottom of my post!

This weeks topic is: How to Establish Your Brand and Build Your Online Community

Those two things go hand and hand in my opinion.  In order to grow an authentic community of followers, you need to have a true brand all your own.  You need to establish what your brand is, and make sure that you continue to create a curated feed with your brand image in mind with every single post.  I believe most people follow me for a specific reason; either they love my photography style or aesthetic, they have a common connection with me like where I live or kids the same age, or when they read my posts I say something that resonates with them on a deeper level and inspires them in some way.  If I can connect with someone through my feed in one of those ways, I will gain them not only as a follower, but hopefully I'll engage with them enough and they will eventually join my community of followers who interact daily with me and possibly even meet IRL one day... (IRL=in real life).

Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't think I'm an expert on this topic by any means.  We've all been there, where it just feels like it takes a small miracle to get someone to click that 'follow' button or even just double click your picture, right?  I struggle daily watching that little number go up and down. I gain a few followers and then I lose just as many each day.  So, in this week, I'll be talking mostly about how I use my brand image to get my followers to stay with me, double tap my images, how I encourage comments, and eventually how I get them to join my community.

Here are my 6 key steps to start building your brand + community now!

Step 1: Create 5 key words to describe your brand image

Step 2: Get your colors and photography style consistent

Step 3: Define your core topics

Step 4: Plan out your posting schedule

Step 5: Ask followers to join your community

Step 6: Engage using specific hashtags

 -You can't be everything to everyone-

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Step 1: Create 3-5 key words to describe the feeling you want for your feed.  What vibes, emotions, impressions do you want to leave with someone when they visit your page? Do you want your feed to emulate romantic, classic, bold, colorful, soft, whimsical, minimal, adventurous, playful, moody, or humorous?

In my opinion, the first step to creating your brand should be to figure out who are you really speaking to.  For me, I needed to create my own brand identity that would speak directly to my ideal follower.  I wanted my feed to be a true visual representation of myself through an authentic voice and consistent images so I could reach my true people.  Some words that describe my brand are authentic, bright, beachy, mom-friendly and organic, how would you describe yours?

 

 

-Create a clear identity through your photos-

Step 2:  Get your colors and photography style consistent.  When someone sees a picture of yours, they should clearly know it's your photo either by the style or the colors or both.  Based on the recommendation from @jennakutcher, and her Instagram Lab Course, I created a brand mood board/color theme.  It included my top 5 branding words and my top 5 colors of my feed, which helped me focus on my true brand image.  Canva is this awesome app you can use to get your "colors" by using a screen shot of your feed.   Here's mine:

When I take photos or edit photos, I try and stick to these 5 colors.

You can try it for your own feed here.  Just take a screen shot of your Instagram feed and it will pull out your top 5 colors for you.

(Our next post in this series is all about photography and editing your photos, so don't worry...more details on this to come!)

CANVA COLOR PALETTE GENERATOR

 -Have a focused approach-

Step 3: Define your categories:  I talked a little about this in my last post.  The more you can narrow your focus, the easier it will be for someone to connect with you. I try and define my brand into 5 categories and concentrate my posts around those topics. Family + Marriage, Motherhood, WAHM Life, Beauty + Fashion, Home Decor.  This helps me be consistent and authentic in each and every post and differentiate myself from other bloggers out there.  Using your top categories you defined above, try to create a diverse but defined feed that flows and touches on each topic throughout the week.  Maybe Mondays are WAHM life, and then Tuesdays you try and post about home decor, etc.  This way, you always have something to talk about, and you aren't trying to come up with a witty caption every time you have a great image to post.  It gives you and your feed a more defined focus, which will, in turn, help people to connect with you and keep coming back for more each week because they know what to expect.

-Establish your top posting schedule-

Step 4: Define posting schedule and best times to post. 

You need to ask yourself how often you are willing to spend time on Instagram and how often you really have the time to create a post that will speak to your followers, create hashtags that flow with that photo and make time to engage with your followers who comment.   It's important to make a plan and stick to it so that your followers see you consistently.  Is it once a week?  Once a day? 3x a day?  What does it take to grow your community....that's entirely up to you!  

I recently switched over to a business account and found out that the majority of my followers are actually from Southern Cal and most of them are most active on Tuesday- Saturday.  These insights can help you determine a posting schedule that will create the most engagement on your photos.  If you find that most of your followers are in a different time zone, you should adjust your posting time to fit when they are most active.

For me, I started with once a day, about 4x a week.  Now I try and post before 9 am or after 6 pm 5x a week.  I generally take off the weekends because I have found my better engagement times are during the week.  If you don't want to switch to a business account, there are lots of other sites to view your analytics.  Once of the most popular is

- Include a call to action-

Step 5:  Think of your call to actions like a personal invite into your community.   Occasionally include a call to action; double tap if you love tacos as much as me, comment with your favorite place to buy children's clothes, click the link in my bio to see my tips on how to meal prep, etc.   The goal is to get people to engage on your posts.  People may not feel compelled to comment unless you ask them to, and they may not even respond to your question when you do, but you want them to get engaged any way you can.  Trust me it works.  One of my most engaged posts I ever had was about a postpartum struggle I was experiencing after my first baby.  It was a hard & honest post for me to write, but I was vulnerable and I asked for help or ideas from my followers on how to fix it.  So many people commented that they struggled with the same thing and how they dealt with the issue.  You can read about that here if you want more details, but trust me having a call to action will help your engagement and lead to more true followers.

Remember, your followers want to see you!  Not only in your real genuine voice but images of you!  That creates a connection better than any other.  I bet you if you scroll through your feed, you'll see your most liked photos are not the most perfect flat lay, or the most beautiful sunset, but they are ones you are in, and ones you have written a heart felt or authentic caption about yourself.  Try and do that at least once a week and I promise you, your have a community faster than you know it.

 -Engage using specific hashtags-

Step 6:  One of the best ways to find a new audience is through hashtags.  Using your categories above, search for your niche hashtags and include them in every post.  

I have my hashtags grouped into my categories and saved in my planning app.  (I use Planoly but there are a ton of planning apps out there).  You are allowed 30 hashtags a post, and I use every single one.  If you have a photo that gets great engagement you may end up in the top 9 photos of that hashtag and you will be seen by tons of new faces.  My goal is to get my post in at least 3 of my hashtags top 9 photos to gain followers in my specific niche.  Out of the 30 I am allowed, I'd say 10 are always the same, and then for the rest, I switch it up and use some hashtags that have TONS of posts on them and some that have under 2 thousand posts on them.  I use some that are more specific to my location or subject matter and then some that are broader or used more often.  There is some chatter about using hashtags in your caption or in your comments, and getting "shadow-banned" but I haven't noticed enough of a difference in either to comment on that.  I think we will end up having a more detailed week on this subject where I can expand more on the hashtag subject, but if you have specific questions, please feel free to comment here or on my IG.

-Time + patience are key- 

I leave you with this, you can spend all your time creating the perfect brand and image but if you don't spend time engaging with others, you will not be successful in building a community.  People want to know they are seen and heard, and not just another like on your images.  In between all the curating, planning, and writing you need to include time in your day to reach out to both current and potential followers and comment and like on their pages as well. Respond to your comments on your posts, and search your niche hashtags and engage consistently.  I know that takes TIME, and TIME is the key word here. In order to grow organically, you need to have patience and show yourself some grace if it isn't happening as fast as you'd like.  Remember in order to grow organically, you need to engage, and you'll see a return from your hard work.  That engagement takes time and patience.
In June of 2016, I had 916 followers, today I have over 8 thousand.  I found that as I posted more authentic and vulnerable posts and the more I engaged with my followers and potential followers, the more my community was growing. 

Each month we feature different guest bloggers in addition to our core 10. While we will all be answering the same questions and writing about the same topics, it will give each of you a wide variety of perspectives. We each have a different blogging style, photography style, schedule and more so it will be a great opportunity to read everyone's posts and gain a little insight from each one. 

Here are this weeks contributors: 

mrsseacannon.com | @mrsseacannon

britthavens.com | @britthavens

koleimpressions.com | @steph__pollock

cultivatemotherhood.com | @cultivatemotherhood

www.ashleynoel.life | @_ashley_noel_

hellobabybrown.com | @hellobabybrown

darlingnightingale.com | @darlingnightingale

www.a-blessed-nest.com | @blessednestblog

thelovedesignedlife.com | @thelovedesignedlife

GUESTS: 

kristlesclarity.com | @hereyeswereolivegreen

@amylouhawthorne

If you have a topic you'd love to get an answer to in our series, search the hashtag #TheMomBlogCollective on Instagram and comment on any one of our photos under that hashtag to let us know! You can also leave comments on our blog posts.